Dolly's Dreamings

So very very special

Yesterday was one of my favourite days in a long long time.

Apart from seeing Ant and Elly in July and seeing everyone each week throughout lockdown via our family Friday quiz nights, I had not seen these wonderful people since 2019.

They are not my family but are so my family! Hard to explain. Pauline is my other Mom. She has been a constant in my life since I was 4. She has always been my other Mom, even when I had my own Mom (who she adored too) and I cannot begin to explain how special she is to me.

Her daughter, Sam, is my goddaughter and she is the daughter we never had, the sister I dreamed of. She is beyond special to both of us, as is her husband Chris, her two daughters and her brothers and wives and sister. Sam even lived with us for a short while and we were so thrilled.

So to see them yesterday as we all descended on Bossy Nanny's was wonderful. We had such fun. Great food was eaten, drink was taken in the Gin Shed, the six dogs were wonderful (6 of them were less trouble than my two boys) and the boys were safely looked after by my best friend. It was a day to feel truly truly blessed.

 

and today I am thankful for ALL OF THEM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another day out and another vet visit

Yesterday we took Fiki back to the vets. I have to say at least our cats are varied. They have really never been tot he vets much over their 17 years - Kira for her allergies and Fiki for a broken tail. They have been quite robust and healthy until this year. Firstly Kira had a bad ear infection. Then they both suffered terribly after their vaccinations and now Fiki has a bad chest infection and possibly asthma. He is struggling to breathe well, and has been coughing. The vet said he has a fever and a chest infection and a real wheeze on his left side. He had a steroids injection there and we have antibiotic tablets to give for the next 5 days.  Kira takes her thyroid pills as good as gold. We thought he would be fine. Well he has 10 tablets to take and I only have 10 fingers and thumbs so it became clear after the first tablet that administering them into his mouth was not an option. We did have another go, as he is notorious for being finicky and we knew he would reject food that had anything in, but he was so stressed he wet himself (and his Daddy) So we hid it in tiny pieces of fresh chicken and we have managed to get 4 pills into him so far (6 more to go and yes we are counting) He seems perhaps a little better - it is hard to tell - but Lord help us if it is asthma. Nigel and I were cracked up thinking about administering a puffer inhaler! And no, I do know it wouldn't be that, but heaven help us all if it involves any regular medication.

Anyway, apart from cat news and worry, we had an amazing day out at the Sculpture Park at Churt. We had low expectations but it was amazing. There were literally hundreds and hundreds of sculptures - wood, metal, marble, stone, junk. There were sculptures taller than we were, tiny and delicate, realistic, abstract and tactile. All in woodland and literally everywhere you looked. It was truly amazing and an awesome day out. Apologies for a very photo heavy post

 

There is scrapping at the end - feel free to skip down to that

 

 

 

 

 We stood in the photos for scale - some were huge - some tiny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were several variations of the giraffes and I loved them all - but the starting prices for even the small ones were way too high for us.

 

This one was made of all old horseshoes and it was massive

 

 This was not an attractive one but very poignant - called the Four Horses of the Apocalypse it was made from things that we throw away from toys and books to TVs and electrical appliances and a lot of plastic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 This was hard to photograph. I am standing behind Nigel - what you can see is my reflection in a huge polished piece of glass. It was stunning but impossible to capture.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All round the site were fallen trees and uprooted trees that had been cut into pieces and some transformed to seats. These gnarled pieces of wood, natures own sculptures, were so utterly beautiful and so sympathetically done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Such a glorious day out

 

I have also scrapped a couple of pages of our day out at Stowe Gardens using the new daydream collection which I have loved playing with

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today I am thankful for

• a restful day
• Nigel having his flu jab
• getting 2 pills inside Fiki and still having all of my digits!

 

 

 

Day Trip 2 of staycation - Stowe Gardens

We are determined to make the most of our staycation ... we are eating American food and enjoying days out. We should have been flying to Seattle tomorrow for an almost month long trip int he National Parks. Instead, we are at home, with our beloved fur babies, and just able to go out for days and come home to a safe haven and our babies every evening.

 

Today saw us visit Stowe Gardens, another National Trust property and it was near Coventry and so we were able to meet up with Nigel's brother, Sean and his wife Viv which just made a wonderful day even more enjoyable. It was lovely to catch up with them and just chat - socially distantly of course - and enjoy catching up, seeing beautiful things and enjoying a picnic. We couldn't have wished for better weather. When we left home at 7 am it was very foggy but it burnt off beautifully.

Caution - photo heavy post and a lot of photos of the bridge as it was just lit so beautifully today.

 

For the benefit of my American readers ... this is a bit of history and I have interspersed it with the photos to break up the picture overload. The words are not mine - simply lifted off t'internet!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The landscape garden at Stowe is one of the most remarkable legacies of Georgian England. Created by Viscount Cobham in the grounds of his family home from 1717, it reflected a programme of ideas based on Cobham’s hugely influential network of political affiliations.

Humble roots

Stowe is named after a small Buckinghamshire village of the same name. In 1712, it consisted of 32 houses and 180 residents. As the original estate expanded, the village was absorbed until the only remaining feature was Stowe Church which now sits close to the Elysian Fields. The estate has existed in some form for nearly 1000 years with mentions of the local area in the Domesday Book.

 

 

 

 

 

socially distant selfies

 

The beginning

In 1589 John Temple purchased the Stowe Manor and estate. His father had been leasing the house for 18 years earlier. Their large fortune at the time was built on sheep farming and wool. With farms in Oxfordshire and Warwickshire, Stowe made the perfect location for the family home. Not much changed about the area over the following decades.

The gardens and parkland were controversially expanded to swallow much of the nearby villages of Boycott, Dadford and Lamport. Two of these are remembered in the gardens by the Boycott Pavilions and the Lamport Gardens. Lord Temple was keen to surround the gardens in a large Deer park. It had multiple purposes, allowing existing views to be extended and protected from development, give hunting opportunities to provide the family with meat and also to enhance the social status of the family.

Expansion plans

After the death of his father Sir Peter Temple, the estate was inherited by Sir Richard Temple. As the fourth owner, he began to develop the gardens until 1683 when a large and impressive new house was completed on the current location. The original house, designed by William Cleare was on a much smaller scale with many alterations made over the years to expand and develop the overall appearance and scale. Eventually the central house had almost tripled in size to a point where even Queen Victoria was jealous.

 

 

Trying to navigate our way round

 

 

Maybe two heads are better than one!

 

 

 

 

 

The Cobham era

In 1697, Richard Temple, Sir Richard's son became the fifth owner. In 1713, Temple became Baron Cobham, four years later moving up to Viscount Cobham. It was at this period that Temple employed garden designer Charles Bridgeman and architect Sir John Vanbrugh to enhace the gardens.

Initial additions across the South Front were much more formal with avenues of trees and precisely shaped ponds. Development of the gardens moved quickly over the next few years. A team of over 30 gardeners worked on the estate with many garden designers experimenting at Stowe with styles they would later become famous for. Vanbrugh and Bridgeman began laying out the initial areas around the house with some of the first monuments created just metres from the main house.

Through the 1720's-1748, many garden designers worked at Stowe. Each experimented with styles for which they would later become famous, helping to make Stowe what you see today. Lord Cobham liked to work with the most fashionable forward thinkers of the time and intended to be a trendsetter for all who visited his estate to see his power. These included James Gibbs, William Kent and Lancelot 'Capability' Brown to name a few.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A slower pace

Development of the estate slowed down with much smaller additions such as the Oxford Bridge, Corinthian Arch and various lodges. Viscount Cobham died in 1749 and the estate had been passed onto his nephew Richard Grenville. Various monuments were moved and alterations were also made to simplify and modernise the look of many of the buildings.

Decline and fall

With some areas of Stowe not even 100 years old by the late 1830's, the estate was beginning to look neglected. The owner, the Second Duke of Buckingham and Chandos had extravagant tastes and was very poor with money management. After inheriting the estate, he was keen to undertake repairs on the house and gardens but ran up a debt of over £1 million with creditors.

On an official royal visit to the estate by Queen Victoria in 1845, in an effort to impress the Royal Family, the duke borrowed more money to buy expensive new furniture for the house and areas of the gardens. By the end of the decade, everything broke down. Bailiffs seized the estate and a large auction took place. With the number of items being sold, much was sold quickly and cheaply. A 40 day auction at Christie's raised only £75,000.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making do

Despite the expected decline, the third Duke of Buckingham and Chandos managed to save the estate. The second Duke had died in 1861 and just four years later his son was able to move back into the house. For much of the 40's and 50's the house had been mothballed and the gardens left for cattle and sheep grazing.  The number of gardening staff was reduced from 40 to four giving a small amount of care to the estate but no major maintenance to the buildings. Through the 1860's a number of repairs were conducted including restoration on a number of temples, the re-opening of Bell Gate to visitors, replanting of plants and the restocking of a museum on the site. Stowe had regained it's status after just a few years.

This didn't last long though. After his death in 1889, after leaving no male heir, the estate passed onto his daughter, Lady Kinloss. She had little use for the estate and initially considered selling it. The house was used sparingly over the following years housing family for short periods of time until shortly after World War I when it was put on the market.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twentieth century

Lady Kinloss' eldest son was due to take ownership of the estate, however he was killed early on in the war. The estate was sold in July of 1921 for £50,000 to Harry Shaw. Another large sale of contents and statues was conducted in 1922 before another sale of the estate in October to the governing body that would later form the Stowe School. Over the next six months, the house was adapted to include classrooms and student sleeping arrangements. Small changes were made over the decades with further school building built.

National Trust

After years passing by with the gardens standing still, the National Trust were gifted the gardens in 1989 from Stowe School.

 

and some 12000 steps later (and another 2000 to go) back to the bridge again and we only saw a part of the gardens - they are huge and beautiful

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today I am thankful for

• a lovely day out with family
• safe travels
• home with the cats who would have been spending tonight as their first night in the cattery - so pleased they are not. Plus - such a cute thing - Kira eats everything, she is voracious and greedy. we left them their timer feeding bowl which has two trays which open at a set time. When we came home it was open, as it should have been, and one side was empty and one completely full. Fiki strolled down and ate his full bowl and Kira, my gorgeous little girl, had shown such restraint because she hadn't eaten TWO. A month ago she would have done. The thyroid tablets are working.

 

A nice few days

Nothing much to report here other than a nice retirement life. Days are simple but very happy.

 

I finished my blanket for my cousin (won't post it here until she receives it) but I was really pleased with it and I hope she is too.

 

We enjoyed a couple of walks at Lake Pier and at Hammworthy Park and we completed a jigsaw.

I had a very enjoyable art class and have scrapped too.

This is another paper page for the 60th album of another gorgeous big cat (currently working on a monochromatic challenge)

 

This uses a Jumpstart Designs collection - again monochromatic - and a photo from our walk last week

 

and this is another PBP collaboration collection which was also for the monochromatic challenge

 

 

and finally a new release from PBP featuring two products from Lara's Digi Designs released this week

 

Autumn Sonnet by Lara's Digi World
Angel Trumpet Templates by Lara's Digi World

 

 

Today is always a poignant day around the globe.

 

 

For me this day will also always be inextricably linked with Daddy. We watched the footage from New York together as I packed his bag for the hospital.  He told me he would not be coming home again - and I told him he was being silly. I underestimated his determination that enough was enough and he passed peacefully away 4 days later.  I cannot believe I have been without him for almost 19 years and without Mommy for over 30. More than half of my life and I still feel like an orphan.

 

Take time today to hug those you love a little more closely, to tell people who matter to you how much they matter to you and to treat everyone with the kindness and compassion they deserve. I end with this image posted by my American cousin Shirley as food for thought.

So happy to see rain

OK so I know come winter I will not be quite so happy to see rain but today I am thrilled.

The heath was so dry - it was a fire waiting to happen and a good dousing with the wet stuff is perfect. So we are thrilled here.

Also happy as we have a shiny new television which is pretty awesome. It even has USB ports and we can put our holiday photos up on the big - and I mean big - screen

And also happy it is new release day at Pickleberrypop and it is Berry Big Deal day - so that is pretty amazing. I was given (full disclosure) some awesome collections to work with this month

 

 

THIS LINK will take you to the bundles in the store - they are ALL amazing

 

 

 

Fayettes bundle is so on trend - called We Rise it is abot being the positive force int he life of others and I couldn't not scrap my wonderful 'other Mom' Pauline. She has been a huge part of my life since I was 5 and continues to be so even though I am 60. When I lost my beloved Mom she became very firmly my other mom and I love her to bits and she is one of the truest blessings in my life.

 

 

 

 

 I used the bundle from Chunlin to share how special Nigel made my birthday celebrations - I am lucky he goes to such trouble - always

 

 

 

 

 

We had just one night at Pismo and so one shot at a Pacific sunset - and quite honestly it could not have been more perfect

 

 

 

I could scrap this gorgeous girl till the cows come home. She is a joy in every sense

 

 

This was just a bit of fun playing with a Pixabay image

 

 

 

 

And my how I loved those palm trees. Us at the beach - again!!!

 

 

and finally this page of my cousin's little granddaughter showcases not only two of the bundles - Fayette and Palvinka - but also one of Peartree Cutfiles gorgeous files used digitally

 

 

Today I am thankful for

• rain
• pretty things
• tvs
• people in my life who bring such utter joy

 

 

A fitting Tribute

Yesterday saw a day we always knew would come but we never wanted to face really. It was the funeral for Nigel's mom Elfin. It was always going to be very different in Coronavirus times but in some ways, impossible as it seems, it worked out well.

The arrangements were actually easy to make and I have to shout our George Scott Funeral Directors who were utterly wonderful in all they said and did. They were the company we used when we buried my Daddy in 2001 and were wonderful then. They are a family firm and they give very kind and personal service. I am not sure if anyone watched the wonderful TV series William and Mary about an undertaker and a midwife. George Scott are just like that. We remember the episode when William was going to leave and Mary said no, he had to be there because when people lost someone they love they just want an angel to come along and sort it all out and he was the angel. George Scott convey that feeling. When you contact them when you are just so suddenly and recently bereaved they are just so reassuring and take all the stress and worry away in such a lovely way.

Obviously, in Cobid 19 times, funerals are restricted and so only 10 mourners are allowed and the service can only be 20 minutes (plus the burial obviously) We knew that sadly Nigel's brother Jim in the USA could not attend as with the restrictions on travel it wouldn't be possible. We were also worried about Nigel's nephew facing a very very long journey there and back in a  day. So the physical attendes were Nigel and I, his brother Sean and wife Viv and our niece Fiona and her husband Dave. However, the funeral really felt like everyone else was there too. We were able to live stream it and Nigel made sure people watching from home were mentioned first of all by the priest at the start of the service. Nigel and I had sorted out the service making and order of service and we were able to send the order of service to all family and friends ahead of the funeral (along with the music files Nigel also created as they told us the music could not be broadcast though in fact it was. As a result we had friends and family watching across the UK, in California, in Oregon, in Massachusettes, in Florida and in Rome. It was a much larger funeral than it wqould ordinarily have been.

 

We chose the music with care and were thrilled that the brothers were happy with our suggestion for the opening music. It is a favourite verson of ours performed by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole ... I do hope you will listen to it ... although you may have heard it already today. Imagine my surprise when I logged on this morning and google home page came up with this song as it is his 65th birthday. It is almost like the world knew!

 

 

Download TRACK 1 Over the Rainbow

 

The final song was one that we had all watched Elfin dance to at the pavillion and as a lifelong dancer it was so perfect for her.

 

Download TRACK 3 I just wanna dance with you

We also used one of our favourite hymns as the words were so perfect - Shine Jesus Shine.

 

 

Download TRACK 2 Shine Jesus Shine

Jim organised beautiful flowers for the top of the coffin and Nigel and I went to the funeral directors and followed the hearse to the cemetery. Father Andrew, the priest from The Sacred Heart, led the service and the burial and I was proud - but nervous - to read the beautiful poem Jim had written back in December.

 

It felt very odd taking photos on such an occasion but we wanted Jim to see the bits not streamed and, with the blessing of the funeral directors, I filmed the burial as that bit was not streamed.

 

 

 

Nigel gave the most wonderful eulogy - I was so proud of him. This is what he said

When I was a little boy I thought my Mum was an Angel! - Sent from heaven to look after me and my brothers .. She could fix anything. Whether it be a broken toy, feeling poorly or providing a lap to shelter in during a thunder storm...I could go to Mum and somehow, later on, like magic, it would always be alright… Of course….. in reality she was born just like everybody else.

    It was probably cold in Oxford in Jan 1925, when she arrived.  It was there that she grew up in the care of her parents Dick and Freda – The only grandparents we ever knew as children.

    She was given her mother's name Elfreda, but the midwife looked into this child's eyes and called her Elfin by which she has been known ever since.  She was only fourteen when the Second World War began.  Her teenage memories were of black-outs and nights in a bomb shelter, while her father patrolled the streets as an air-raid warden.  By the time the war ended she was already twenty years old.

Gran and Granddad told us that she never had much interest in boyfriends growing up… However in Granddad’s words… they “Forgot about the Irish!”

   She met my Irish father, Ricky, at the end of the war, when they were performing in musical revues around Oxford.  She was a ballet dancer, he was a comedian.  They briefly formed a double act, but it was motherhood that was her true calling, fulfilled first with the birth of my brother Sean in 1950.

    When their second baby was conceived Mum was advised that complications with the pregnancy created a real risk to her life if she didn’t terminate, it proved the ultimate act of faith and love when, undeterred, she gave birth to my brother Jim in 1952 and Mum and baby survived.

As a family of four, now, they all eagerly welcomed me into the world three years later.

For Mum, …..Ricky and her three boys became the centre of her universe. 

    ….Apart from thinking she was an Angel …My own early memories include our family holidays to Bournemouth whereupon Dad would take Sean & Jim to the summer shows of an evening but poor Mum got stuck with me who’s greatest desire was to go on a trolleybus ride. We would share the front seat on the top deck and travel end to end on the longest routes we could find. She always told me she was happy with the deal.. but I still felt she missed seeing the likes of Bob Monkhouse and Des O’ Conner those summers… Oh! Well, maybe not so bad then?

    Mum and Dad had a blissful marriage and served as impeccable role models for us.

They moved to Bournemouth permanently in 1964 and may well have had a fourth child – A girl possibly – but sadly a miscarriage put an end to their dream.

    They both worked hard and long to provide a modest and happy home for us boys – and most importantly they filled it with love.

Mum established herself as an accomplished manager of a town centre bakery. She rose to the top of the tree and won numerous awards and commendations. I think all three of us sons worked for her at various times and we all felt pride in her many achievments.

Around this time another personal favourite memory was how Mum.. who had a full driving licence, despite being too terrified to ever get behind the wheel herself… used to sacrifice evenings to sit with me in my car as she could be the “Experienced driver” just so I could practice and pass my test.   

     When dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at just 66 in 1982 it rocked the family to the core. - Mum was a widow at just 57 – unthinkable to me now in my sixties.

I was still at home so Mum had some company but her loss was profound and there was never going to be any one else for Elfin.

    She experienced Joy again with the birth of her Grandson Ryan to Sean and Viv in January 1986. Ryan would carry Dad’s initial . R Leahy .His young life just beginning made her think of us boys all over again.

    She had previously felt the loss of each of my brothers as they forged their own lives away from the family home and I was the last to leave in 1986 when Karen Joined the family thru our marriage.

Mum truly WAS on her own now, It was difficult too.. for during married life she was happy to take a back seat to my Dad who somehow was the front man of their double act …although I know she provided the invisible strength which sustained him. ….They were each others best friends there wasn’t anyone else in the equation ….so, for her, it was like starting a new life all over again.

    Another grandchild from Sean and Viv brought Fiona to us in August 1988. At last a girl!

Mum just loved being a gran and the love that Ryan and Fiona have shown in return has been some of her greatest sources of pleasure

    Mum developed her own friendships, independently now … she learned to paint and returned to her former love of dancing .. she was never frightened to explore a new activity or two. Of course one constant companion was her Mother. Incredibly, when Mum celebrated her 70^th Birthday her own Mum was by her side as a 92 year old. They both looked so good that night that staff at the party venue mistook my gran for the birthday girl!

    In 1997 she moved to a small flat in St Peters Court in the centre of town – at 72 years of age she organized a mortgage for herself and began a new lease of life. She became the social centre of the building and the residents looked up to her and admired her.. She was now her own Front man!

Her dancing became a firm hobby and included teaching the class when the tutor was absent.

Ironically, she was the BEST at remembering all the steps! Her fitness was amazing and she loved to take long walks too!

She loved her new found life despite missing Ricky but her family were never far away and they were frequent visitors. Mum filled her time with her walks and made full use of her bus pass. She wrote poetry and was an expert crossword solver and enjoyed organizing social events and coffee mornings for residents at St Peters Court.

Right up to age 89 she was able to travel single handedly all the way to America and spent many holiday visits with Jim and his wife Diane there and they loved having her close by.

She always loved her extended family now with the addition of Viv, Diane and Karen as wives to us boys and was very happy to know that Ryan and Fiona had found loving partners in John and Dave.

    She was always enthusiastic about all of our pursuits despite the fact that we had differing passions and she supported us in everything we did and would TELL of her pride in each of us.

She enjoyed good health into her 90^th year and even fulfilled her wish to DANCE on her 90^th birthday.

    It was later that year we noticed some changes and life’s journey took a fateful turn. Becoming increasingly confused she needed more support through her dementia. The family rallied and were there for her. Jim and Diane gave up all their vacation time from the USA to be with her. Sean and his family made countless visits and I repaid those trolleybus rides by taking her with me when I was working around town in the car.

    We were blessed to find the most incredible care home where staff loved and cared for her for the last 18 months at White Lodge. Of course we knew we were witnessing that long goodbye as more and more of our Mum began to fade away. But she was always content and, as always, never complained. She never lost her family connection she knew and loved us all even towards the end  …She never stopped telling us she loved us all …….and I know SHE knew she was loved back….

When the end came suddenly we were just relieved to see that she was free.  …………

……..When I was a little boy I thought my Mum was an Angel – 10 days ago I finally KNEW she was!

 

 

I was proud to have designed the cover for the order of service... Nigel asked me to as he said he knew I would do it nicely!

 

 

Entrance

Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dream of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dream of
Dreams really do come true

Someday, I wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dare to
Oh why, oh why can't I?

 

Welcome by Father Andrew Wagstaff

 

Poem by Jim Leahy read by Karen Leahy

 

To my mother in the nursing home

Going gently Into that good night

Day by day by day your memory wanes.

Life at 95! Is that what this is?

The words have disappeared, the love remains.

You do not rage against your aches and pains,

Or dwell upon the losses and the misses,

As day by day by day your memory wanes

And even in the losses, there are gains.

You gaze at me and seem to tell that bliss is

Found beyond the words, for love remains.

You watch the world beyond your windowpane,

No longer knowing what to reminisce is,

And all is now, as slowly memory wanes.

The telephone no longer appertains.

I video-call and wave and blow you kisses

Now words have disappeared.  Still love remains.

You’re full of grace, despite the loss and pains.

Your gratitude and courage teach us, this is

A way to walk each day as memory wanes

And words have disappeared.   Yet love remains.

Jim Leahy, December 2019

 

Eulogy by Nigel Leahy

Hymn

Shine Jesus Shine

Lord, the light of your love is shining
In the midst of the darkness, shining
Jesus, Light of the world, shine upon us
Set us free by the truth you now bring us
Shine on me, shine on me

Shine, Jesus, shine
Fill this land with the Father's glory
Blaze, Spirit, blaze
Set our hearts on fire
Flow, river, flow
Flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth your word
Lord, and let there be light

Lord, I come to your awesome presence
From the shadows into your radiance
By the blood I may enter your brightness
Search me, try me, consume all my darkness
Shine on me, shine on me

Shine, Jesus, shine
Fill this land with the Father's glory
Blaze, Spirit, blaze
Set our hearts on fire
Flow, river, flow
Flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth your word
Lord, and let there be light

Prayers

 

Reading 1                        1 Thessalonians, Chapter 4

Reading  2                     The Gospel according to John, Chapter 14

Prayers

Commendation

 

I Just Wanna Dance with You by George Strait

I don't want to be the kind to hesitate
Be too shy, wait to late
I don't care what they say other lovers do
I just want to dance with you

I got a feeling that you have a heart like mine
So, let it show, let it shine
If we have a chance to make one heart of two
I just want to dance with you

I want to dance with you
Twirl you all around the floor
That's what they intended dancing for
I just want to dance with you
I want to dance with you
Hold you in my arms once more
That's what they invented dancing for
I just want to dance with you

I caught you looking at me when I looked at you
Yes, I did; ain't that true?
You won't get embarrassed by the things I do
I just want to dance with you

Oh, the boys are playing softly, and the girls are too
So am I, and so are you
If this was a movie, we'd be right on cue
I just want to dance with you

I want to dance with you
Twirl you all around the floor
That's what they invented dancing for
I just want to dance with you

I want to dance with you
Hold you in my arms once more
That's what they intended dancing for
I just want to dance with you

 

Following the service, there will be a committal ceremony and interment at the graveside.

 

I feel that her family really did her proud and when we came home we felt a sense of comfort that the funeral had gone well and that she was back with Ricky and in God's care.

 

Farewell Elfin

 

This is a post of very mixed feelings. First and foremost I have sad, yet also in an odd way less sad news to share. Nigel's mom passed away yesterday quite suddenly. Elfin was a remarkable lady. She had been widowed when she was only in her 50s and found it incredibly hard to be without her beloved soul mate. She struggled for many years with loneliness and Nigel was a constant support. He is the only one of her three sons who remained living near by and so he was the point of contact for everything and he never minded doing anything for her. In the late 1990's she moved from her flat to a new warden assisted flat int the centre of Bournemouth and it was life-transforming for her. Since being widowed it was her happiest time. She was central to everything, had a much better social life with friends, could walk everywhere, enjoy travelling on the buses all over the area and was genuinely happy. She was a dancer from a child and a professional ballet dancer she met Nigel's father when they were both on stage in review shows. She continued to love dancing all her life, taking up line dancing in her 70s and her goal was to dance on her 90th birthday - which she did. In her late 80s, she would often teach the line dancing class when the teacher was away. And she walked for miles, every day. Being so fit and active made it doubly hard when the horribly cruel disease of vascular dementia and Alzheimers started to steal her life away from her. After her 90th birthday, we slowly started to notice a few 'odd things' and sadly it escalated in jumps until she became very anxious, confused and disorientated. Nigel's brothers would visit when they were able to, Jim and his wife Diane taking all of their vacation time in the UK to be with her as much as they could and Sean and his wife Viv and Elfin's grandchildren would come and visit. Her granddaughter Fiona would come down often to stay with her gran and in fact was down just a week before the home closed for the virus. Nigel would take care of all of her needs on a day to day basis from shopping to arranging things for her to of course being with her. We had carers going in twice daily to support her and, in fairness, we knew it could not carry on like that for much longer when in October 2018 the decision was taken out of her hands. Deciding to take a midnight walk, she fell and broke her hip and was admitted to hospital. She had a hip replacement but really never gained any mobility back - it is very hard to do physio and therapy with a dementia patient. After much pleading on Nigel's part they eventually agreed rather than sending her home they would send her into respite care and we found the perfect care home by pure chance. She moved into White Lodge in Boscombe, a very small, family-run, beautifully loving and caring home where she really was loved and cared for. She never returned home and, as time went on dementia stole more and more of the Elfin we knew and loved. She was still there but she often couldn't find words, but would look at her sons with love when they visited - she never lost them, she never forgot who they were even if she couldn't name them. She knew they were her boys.

Nigel's last visit to her was sadly in the middle of March, the day they closed the care home because of the Covid-19 virus. We knew it was the right decision to close for everyone's sake but it was hard for Nigel not to be able to make his usual visit and he missed seeing her. She had been a bit poorly this week and we had spoken to the doctor twice and to the staff in the home, but it was still a shock when we heard she passed away on Saturday morning.

I said it was mixed blessings. We are both terribly sad that she has passed, but Nigel's view is that he said a long slow goodbye to his mom a long time ago. And there is a sense of relief that she is not suffering any longer. No-one knows what goes on in a dementia patient's head. Do they know they are not able to express themselves? Do they feel lost and confused even though they can't vocalise it? Do they hurt? We don't know. What we do know is that she is now at peace, reunited with her beloved Ricky and that she is no longer suffering anything at all. She was 95 and for most of those years, life had been happy for her.

It is hard to arrange a funeral in these strange times, but Nigel has already done most of what he can at the moment and, in the coming days and weeks will work through all the associated admin that sadly goes with the loss of a loved one. He has a wonderfully rich life with her to look back on filled with so many happy memories.

 

The photos and scrapbook pages here are dedicated to our Elfin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some sobering thoughts

Today has been a day of reflection, sadness and realisation.

My best friend lost her father last week and his funeral took place today. I cannot imagine how hard it was for her to have a funeral in times like this. The only comfort we could offer, as we could not attend, was to stand on the roundabout and pay our respects to Brian as the hearse went past and so that she could see us there. We rushed home and watched the live stream of the funeral and, despite to oddness of the time thanks to Covid 19, it was a lovely service. My thoughts and prayers and love go to all of the family and to anyone who loses loved ones in these strange times.

 

It was made all the more poignant because today was my Daddy's birthday and he would have been 93 today. I cannot believe it is almost 19 years since we lost him. And even more poignantly, I have now been motherless for half of my life. My mom, who really was my best friend and was such a wonderful lady beloved by every single person who knew her (all of my friends adored her) was taken so suddenly when she was just 58. I scrapped a page using a new collection by Dita B in her honour.

 

 

Today was the first time I have been out anywhere apart from our daily walk and the vets since all of this started. It was the first time I have been in a car for 16 days. And I hated it. There were more people around, the paths were narrow (we don't come anywhere near people on our daily walk, usually seeing no more than half a dozen people and all of them on the opposite side of the road) and there were a lot of people and I really really didn't like it. I didn't realise how odd it would feel to be 'out' and how being inside and safe for so long has made me very nervous of social contact of any sort. I am sure the lockdown will continue and I am not sure how I will feel after potentially another three or four weeks of this. And I know I am not going to be alone - thousands and thousands will feel like it I am sure.

 

Today I am thankful for

• my friend being able to lay her father to rest even in an unusual way
• my parents - I was so blessed with them - I truly was. I had a charmed childhood.
• my home where we can stay safe.

 

 

Rather old for an 18th

I guess at my age - very old some days  ... quite young and sprightly others ... it is unusual to celebrate your 18th birthday but that was just what I did this year.

 

You may remember the story from earlier int he year about selling my unworn gold jewellery, including my 18th birthday present gold bracelet, and buying something I had always wanted, would never have bought and absolutely love. I bought a silver Tiffany Bracelet and I wear it every day and I love it. And Mom and Dad would be thrilled that I now have something that is a daily reminder rather than something which is stuck in a drawer and never sees the light of day.

 

And now I have scrapped the story too.

I used the wonderful Heart collection by Simple Stories as the paper colours and the sentiments just worked so well.

 

They were not all full bags!

 

There had to be a page of me wearing said lush bracelet.

 

 

And I had papers over and so also just made this page of one of the other loves of my life, my little boy (well my old gentleman really) 

 

 

Today I am thankful for

• a just ordinary, nothing special totally lovely day
• my bracelet - I really do love it
• my parents - now long gone but missed every day and cherished forever

 

and finally I came across these today and just had to share them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The most wonderful time of the year

Oh, I love Autumn. As I sit here typing the sun is shining, the air is a tad chilly, the light is gorgeous and the leaves are turning. The nights are getting longer and cosier and - well I just love Autumn. I truly do.

It has been a thrill to work with some of the new Autumn collections over at Pickleberrypop and they have a MEGA celebration on with awesome $2 deals and an amazing FWP kit.

 

This is what you can get for free is you buy during the special promotion which is on right now until the weekend. Yes, I said FREE. You can check it out here

 

 

I couldn't resist this page of the cutest little pumpkin in the patch

 

 

Dita B's collection called Romantic Fall is gorgeous with soft muted colours and so many elements

 

 

Tiramisu has some wonderful templates on offer at the moment - brand new and totally gorgeous HERE

 This page showcases the gorgeous dawn sunlight in Maine almost a year ago. How is it possible.

 

 

and Disney Pumpkins - such a special thing to see

 

I made the page below with Studio PIX+ Prints Indian Summer which is just gorgeous  and showcases by bestie and her daughter (oh and me) at her 30th birthday

 

 

and this one was made with The Miracle of Autumn by et Designs and isn't he just utterly adorable.

 

 

Finally - because I do love Autumn - me enjoying Stourhead splendour in the Autumn (It was freezing that day though so I am rather wrapped up!)  Made with Tiramisu The Magic of Fall

 

 

Do go over and check all of the fab designs over the next few days. It is a chance to snap up lots of bargains and snag that stuffed with lushness free kit THIS LINK will take you to the $2 treats

 

Today I am thankful for

• being a Berry Princess - it is such a happy place to hang out and we have awesome designers
• autumn - the light, the colours, the chill, the whole lot 

 

 

 

 

 

Absolutely shattered - but happy - a reflection on retirement

When I stopped working as a head teacher I didn't know quite what my future would hold. I didn't know if I would miss work. (Ok so that is funny - of course, I was never going to miss work) or if I would need to get a job to see me through to retirement and if I did what that job would be. So I packed away all of my work clothes into the loft into suitcases - a LOT of them. I had so many suits and jackets and skirts and blouses and tops and jumpers. I could have worn something different every single day for an academic year I am sure. 

Today they all came down out of the loft. They have been sorted and bagged and are all going to charity. I am ashamed by how much there was and by how many beautiful clothes had never been worn and still have the labels on. I was _ confess - a shopping addict. I am no longer that girl. I think I have bought only two or three items in 2019 and they were on a need to have basis, not on an 'I have too much money and I just can't resist buying things' basis which was clearly how I used to live. It was a mammoth job going through it all, and I confess to a few tears as special items went into bags, but I feel so much lighter now - and the loft is clear and they are going to a good cause where hopefully they will bring joy to new wearers and money for good causes.

My books have gone, my folders have gone and now the clothes have gone. I feel like a phoenix who has now truly risen from the ashes of a job that became too stressful and a work environment that at times was horribly toxic. I have shed it all now and just have the 'memorabilia stuff' left which will also get sorted and go and then I am free of all but the happy memories of the children. That will never go. I still believe teaching is the best job in the world and there was much I loved about it, but there was also much I hated and, as time went on, I did less and less of the bit I loved - the teaching, the hands-on, and more and more of the bad stuff; the policies, the trying to please governors, staff, parents - all of whom wanted different things -  and really only wanting to do what was best for the people at the heart of it - the children. I left at the right time. I left my school thriving, successful, everything in place and performing well and I left before I was broken. I was cracked in many places and those cracks have slowly healed, but I got out at the right time for me.

Our life has become far more simple. We take pleasure in things that don't cost anything and love them. We don't have the expendable income we used to have. but that doesn't even factor into our life. We are the stage where we don't need the 'stuff' or want the 'stuff'. We are downsizing our lives and that brings us pleasure. Yesterday we had a fabulous day and all we did was took our lunch to Poole Park, parked for free, had a lovely long walk and ate in the sunshine. I love our mornings of leisure, reading the paper in bed before managing to get up. I love lazy afternoons filled with creativity and I love that we just have time together. No-one knows what lies around the corner and our retirement years could have been very short. I hope we have many many more years to enjoy the simple life together but even if I didn't have them, I have had three fabulous years of a retired life ... so far!

 

Anyway - on to scrapping which I have more time for now, along with countless other hobbies. (And I even find myself downsizing that too. I have got rid of a lot of stash and am getting rid of more. I don't often buy new supplies and I am content using the things I have)

 

This is another page for our Disney attractions album. My aim - not sure I will ever manage it - was to scrap every ride and attraction. I have done a fair few though no means all of them. There are a lot! However, I was pleased I finally did this one. We had been worried about going to see the refurbished Hall of the Presidents ... not only because Trump was there but we knew it had been changed greatly. We loved the new version. The narration was superb and the film excellent and we really enjoyed it.

 

 

and this was made for the monthly colour challenge on UKS and celebrates my cousin's husband Bryan who I was so in awe of. He had never been to the UK before, never driven on the 'wrong' side of the road and the only automatic car they had for him was a huge Range Rover Discovery. With me by his side, and Nigel in the car in front, this young man drove all around Dorset and we are not known for our big roads. Our county is full of tiny little narrow roads where passing often involves reversing. He did it all including navigating through a very busy Oxford when we headed north. I would have cried if I had been him - he was so brilliant.

 

 

Today I am thankful for

• getting rid of things that were tying me to the past
• decluttering
• my life - I am truly grateful for the life I have and the love I have been blessed with

 

 

and I just loved these cartoons to end with today