We have had another very bad week with Kira and we know we are nearing the end. We took her back to the vets and he had two more things we are trying but he agreed with us. She is 17 and has been a loyal, loving wonderful little girl and she doesn't deserve to suffer like this. I think if she looked ill, or couldn't move or was being sick all the time it would feel different. But she looks well - her coat is lovely, she is getting very thin but she just cannot eat. There is nothing obviously physically wrong that he can see, no teeth issues, throat issues etc. But it appears it is neurological. When she was at least trying to eat there was lots of head tossing and spitting and tongue gaging like she just cannot chew. We have tried everything – absolutely everything including liquidising food. But no – she just cannot eat. We are now feeding her the Felix soup which she will drink. She cannot eat any of the solid bits but she can manage that but obviously that is not enough to sustain her. In addition to that she had dementia and there are times she just prowls and howls – really really howls. It is like she doesn’t know where she is or what is happening. We asked the vet if some of it could be she is looking for Fiki and he agrees it is possible.
Our aim now is to keep her going until Monday when we can see our own vet again and we all agree that that is probably the time we have to say that she deserves some peace. It even hurts to tyoe it and most of today and yesterday was spent in tears. We are not stupid; like all responsible pet owners we know that one day we will have to make that ultimate decision for them to let them go if it is best for them. But we are also fur mommy and daddy and she is our little girl and it is killing us. We have been battling this since the end of August and she picks up a little then drops back and each drop is a little worse than it was before. Today she had been out of bed – our bed where she is wrapped up in her blanket on the end of the bed – to drink her soup but goes straight back there which is so unlike her and we feel indicates she is in pain and unhappy. Having lost Fiki just 8 weeks ago this feels like one blow too far and like it is just too much to bear.
To compound it all we had other news yesterday. We have been on waiting lists for two new babies as we know the wait for proper Bengal kittens from genuine breeders can be a year or more. We knew we would never be catless and debated getting a rescue cat or older cats but in our heart of hearts we wanted Bengals and they can be a bit tricky if you don’t have them from babies. Ours have been exceptional in that they are total lap cats and friendly and amenable. There are too many bengals that can’t be handled. So we knew we wanted Bengal kittens. We didn’t care what their markings were like it is the breed temperament we want – yes all that craziness that comes with these very special cats. Well we heard yesterday that just the right cats had turned up for us and it couldn’t have been at a worse time – or a better time. They are beautiful and both boys. They were born the day Fiki died – how odd is that – and just like Kira and Fiki they were from a litter of 6 and had to be handfed as the Mom wasn’t producing milk. Just like Fiki and Kira the breeder lost three of them. We had a long long chat with the breeder and we have seen videos of them now and they will be ours just before Christmas. Yes we are thrilled that we will have a new fur-ever family but we don’t want anyone to think we are just replacing our beloved babies, because that isn’t what it is about. We hoped they might both be here to enjoy the new babies but it doesn’t look like even Kira is going to make it.
I held her in my arms yesterday and told her she could feel easier knowing Mommy was going to be OK because we both feel she has been more affectionate than ever since Fiki died partly because she needed it and partly because she knew we did. So here at the moment our hearts are breaking and we also feel we cannot face being excited about the new kittens as it is too much to cope with. I am sure once we have made the decision about Kira that we know we have to make for her sake, we will adjust and have some joy in anticipating our new arrivals, but just now it is hard here.
Sorry – if you made it through that then jolly well done!
I have some scrapping to share - though I confess I haven't done much as not in a scrappy place - but these were new releases at Pckleberrypop
and a couple of paper pages
Today I am thankful for
my wonderful little girl Kira who has brought us so much joy and so much worry.
