Well the way I see it - and I confess I don't always see it like this but I am really trying - a month ago I didn't know there was anything wrong with me. I don't feel any different, I don't feel ill, I have no pain, I just have something living inside of me. I wouldn't have known if there wasn't free screening so I am lucky. It might all be removed in op 1 (it might not but it MIGHT), it might still be non invasive (I so hope so) and I might be OK.
I can do absolutely NOTHING about it. The doctors know what they are doing, they are skilled at their job and they do this all the time. I just need to tip up on the day.
God has this.
I believe everything is part of his plan. I might not be able to see what that plan is but there is one and He has me - and Nigel - in His care and is surrounding us with love and his infinite grace. So I have two choices. I can cry (as I did a lot today because it all got on top of me) or I can pick myself up, enjoy doing what we are doing in the next few days (its very quiet as we are isolating and Nigel is even sleeping in another room because of his cough and I can't afford to get sick) and forget about it because I CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT.
I am sure there will be other rocky days but I have given myself a stern talking to and it is pointless just moping around when, apart from a little bit of baddness inside, I am perfectly well.
So I have been or a walk, I have painted and I have scrapped and now I'm going to sit down and watch mindless TV
This is for the event over at Scrap a Sketch and was the second of the special sketches.
and this is my December Journal (It is poignant this year though I also have a written journal I am keeping)
This is page 1 which was also using a sketch from Scrap Squad 12 days of Christmas - there is a big pull out sheet explaining why my journal is different this year.
This is Day 2 using another Scrap Squad sketch
and this is Day 3 which is another Scrap a Sketch sketch
and these are my first three advent calendar pictures - a class gifted by my best friend ... they are tiny - just about 1.5" square
Today I am thankful for
- faith
- courage
- resilience
- Nigel
- scrapping therapy
Comments