I find myself in reflective mood today.
There are days when life is a bed of roses and everything is swell and you cope. You cope well.
There are days when life is manic but you cope.
There are days when the unexpected happens but you cope
There are days when you don't feel 100% but you cope
There are days when all of the above conspire and do you know what ... you cope.
Because, each and every day is important.
Today is called the present because it truly is a gift. A gift so special it has to be lived and enjoyed and celebrated. Every crazy moment of it.
Because you never know. You really don't.
I want to share a story today that speaks very much to my heart because, through my Mom, I lived it.
A Story To Live By
by Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times)
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a
tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is
lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk,
handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on
it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least
8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I
guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the
other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His handslingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned
to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a
special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped
him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought
about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I
thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.
I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and
dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the
weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in
committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor,
not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia
blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look
prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not
saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks
have noses that function as well as my party-going friends'.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it
now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here
for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and
a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend
fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner,
her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours
were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good Friends whom I was going to get in touch
with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one
of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how
much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything
that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
I so understand that story as it could have been about me. When my Mom died, very suddenly at only 58, she and daddy had been planning a special holiday. My Mom had only been abroad twice, two short package trips to Spain that they could ill afford but that they had gone on so I could go as a teenager.
They had retired from the hotel business just twelve months earlier and they were celebrating with a trip to see my dad's sister in Australia. It was all they could think about and talk about. They had saved and saved and so had we. It was to be the trip of a lifetime. They were due to go in April and Mommy died suddenly in March.
The whole thing was so shocking and heart-breaking but I will never forget having to sort out some of Mommy's things and finding that her underwear drawer was full of new things. Things that she was saving for the holiday. Her wardrobe was filled with things she was keeping for best. Her cabinet was filled with best glasses we never used. And she never got to enjoy those things. They were waiting for the 'special' times and she never realised those special times were right there and then.
I am still not good at that lesson and I still sometimes keep things for best ... but I do consciously try to remember there may not be any days more special than the one we are living right now.Our srystal gets used, I wear new clothes as soon as I buy them, I even use new scrap stash. We do the things we have always wanted to in case we don't gett he chance int he future. Whilst still planning for a future we hope we have, we live each day tot he full.
And so every day needs to be enjoyed, embraced and celebrated. Every day is precious, every moment needs to be lived.
Not always easy ... but always worth trying.
